From Rescuer to Realization

I tried saving this bee a few days ago. It was walking around on the ground in between my garden beds, and it seemed to be unable to fly. I let it crawl onto my hand and I put it on a plant. It flew from there towards the flower bed, but then fell from the sky, once again walking around. Again I let it crawl onto my finger and I put it onto a marigold this time. It went from marigold to marigold sucking up nectar steadily, and I watched with some satisfaction, hoping it was getting healed and sustaining itself to be strong enough to fly in the days to come. I watched it for some time and then went on my way knowing that I don’t get to know the outcome, but trusting. 

Was it nearing the end of life? Had its wings become wet? What else could have damaged this sweet bee? I worried about toxins in the air or land that had caused it and tried pushing those thoughts away. But regardless of these questions that came up, I only knew I had done as much as I could and that I needed to allow it space to make its way on its journey. And I came back to prayer, feeling grateful for its life and thanking it for its beauty and service. 

This seemed to be a lesson coming back around to me a week later, after wanting to recently “save” a friend who was struggling. I realized I was trying to fix this person I care for, as I saw and heard the pain they were in. Yet I heard myself trying to give the right advice, fix and solve this problem that in my mind seemed so very wrong and terrible. 

And yet after my day of going into rescuer mode, I came out of it as I recognized myself in the moment as I had with the bee. And I did the work of detaching, recognizing that this was not something I had control over because it wasn’t about me. Nor would I want to keep this person from achieving what they needed to go through as ugly as it seemed to me. In fact it could be the thing that helps them uplevel. In what appeared to me to be a downward spiral, I was reminded it could be perhaps a spiral dipping momentarily and then going back up. 

What mental patterns were you letting go of last week? 

In reflecting on all of this learning, unlearning, and relearning it brings me back to the realization that we never know how long we have with anyone. A family member can pass to the other side, a friend can walk away, someone can fall deathly sick or be in a terrible life-changing accident, or a dear one can decide to move to distant lands. And we just have to cherish the sweet memories of those we love and have been dancing with in life, and enjoy today and the precious ones we spend time with in each moment. 

For more info on the astrology of what we’ve been letting go of, I have my recent New Moon astrology video here: https://youtu.be/1UoTSLUW7kE